Saturday, April 11, 2009
My weight
I plan to weigh myself weekly to keep me aware and honest. I weighed 243.5 lbs this week. I've lost 3 pounds which is good but I know better than to think of this program as a diet. Hopefully it is in God's will for me to lose some weight, and if not, I will have to learn to accept that. When I am abstinent, I don't care if I stay at the weight I am. I am happy and content. I am attractive. I am a good person. I am not anxious or depressed when abstinent and for me, that is an outcome that is worth so much more to me than the number on the scale.
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This serenity sounds great and it's important to keep god's will in mind with the weight. When I came to OA I hadn't had much success with dieting. I wasn't a yo-yo dieter...I hadn't "had it" with dieting...so my first abstinence really was like a diet. But it doesn't work if you keep it that way. Abstinecne is refraining from eating compulsively. Part of compulsive eating for me is eating more than my body needs, so to be abstinent I should be eating amounts that will eventually lead to a healthy body weight...howevber bingeing and undereating was also part of compulsive eating...so it's important not to undereat to lose weight quickly or to "save up" calories for another day
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